Assualt with a "Friendly" Weapon.....say what?

The Week in Weird (Sex Toy Assault Edition)

Jan 29, 2011 – 8:11 AM

Tony Deconinck Contributor

Did last week feel weird to you? No? Because over here, we ran out of room before we could summarize all of it. So far we have flaming zombies, a woman allegedly attacking a police officer with a sex toy, a wheelchair that really captures the spirit of the urban assault vehicle and America's next hybrid sport: Knokkers.

If you think you're ready, you can jump ahead to Fark.com and take the Fark Weird News Quiz without this little recap. If not, let's get started.

Dildon't Even Think About It, Lady

For one Illinois woman, the night started out so promising: dinner, an escort home, a man in her bedroom, some wrestling, handcuffs and then ... jail? Wait, back up.

Gurnee Police Department

Police say Carolee Bildsten, 56, attempted to strike a cop with a sex toy on Nov. 9. But Bildsten insists she was acting in self-defense.

The woman wanted to go out but decided that her purse was just too heavy. So she left it at home, not really realizing that it meant she was also without money until after she was done with a big meal and numerous fine alcoholic beverages.

No problem. She explained to the Joe's Crab Shack manager that she had to run home and get her money and that she'd be right back. A police officer found her lying down on a patch of grass (she said she was having difficulty because of being tipsy and having a broken foot) between the restaurant and her house, and the officer escorted her home so she could get money for the restaurant.

After a few minutes in her house, she said she was rifling through a drawer for money when the officer appeared in her doorway to check on her. She said that his presence startled her and scared her, so she reached for the nearest weapon at hand:

A clear plastic sex toy.

This is where the two accounts begin to diverge. According to the police officer, she attacked him with the "clear, rigid feminine pleasure device." According to the woman, she merely raised the sex toy in a defensive movement. Against what, she did not say. The intoxicated woman was then wrestled down, cuffed and arrested. Police say she could face charges for Assault with a Friendly Weapon.

Here's the link to the original story.